I often have these moments where I find myself totally and completely in love. Yes, in love. Enamoured, hopeful, giddy, floating on an indescribable high, infatuated, existing in this perfect little bubble where it seems like nothing bad can ever happen.
There’s no guy, no career, no person, place, or thing that is my focus. I just feel in love with the idea of hope, of living, of being.
Don’t get me wrong. I am still longing for people, places, and things that I believe will bring fulfillment and joy, but I am also delighted in the waiting. (Most days, anyway; “hangry” can be a bitch.)
I know that it’s dangerous to believe in “magic.” To believe in my version of the perfect relationship, the perfect career, the perfect body, or any such goal. The danger being that I never truly find what I’m looking for. But, I also kinda love that I believe in the magic. It’s romantic. It keeps me child-like. It’s straight-up FUN!
It’s ME. A part of me that I quite frankly find endearing.
And I could insert a “you create your own universe” cliche here, but the truth is, I do feel like enjoying the “magic” of it all, expecting the “magic,” is what has allowed it to flow so freely in my life lately.
Because I am living every moment as if I’m meant to be there. I’m feeling all of my emotions with permission and ease. I am allowing myself to unapologetically BE myself. Even if it’s dangerous. Even if I never get to experience the things I seek. Even if it means I’m the only one who thinks I’m endearing.
This is my life, my story, my journey, and I’ll be damned if I don’t have some fun. Is this what it feels like to stop caring what other people think? Is this what it feels like to stop tying my self-worth to my achievements? Is this what it feels like to finally stop believing I’m defined by my past?
Is this what it feels like to take a deep breath?
Is this what it feels like to actually be mindful? To be authentic? To be full of vitality? To respect and love the Earth as my home? To be honest, raw, and real? To lean into the intensity that breeds from my passions? To embrace my creativity? To embrace kindness?
Woad dudes… I think I know who I am. AND I FUCKING LOVE IT.
What was this post about again? Oh… love. Believing in the beautiful “magic” that exists in this world, whether it’s actually real or only real in my head. Does it matter either way?
Seriously, I cannot stress enough how important it is to find your core values. To figure out what matters to you, what you wake up for each day, what you call truth, what you call “right.” You get to decide what is worth fighting for, and what you can say NO to. You get to decide what kind of person you want to be and who you want to spend time with and what you want to focus on. We are all the main characters in our own story, and we do get to decide what makes up that character.
And it’s so important to have that to hold on to. Because we all know that there’s so much we can’t decide on; so much we can’t control. There’s things that will happen around us, to us, and because of us that will hurt, that will push us to the edge of our strength. But when you have that foundation to stand on, you get to feel a little stronger, fight a little harder, and enjoy the fulfillment that no matter the outcome of what you’re dealing with, you are true to yourself.
And that’s something to be proud of. That breeds confidence. That breeds trust. That breeds the strength we often find ourselves admiring in the people we look up to.
Humans, man. I love ‘em. We are so cool!
I think I took a left turn in here, but it is what it is. I will always write with purity. It’s not for “show,” it’s not for money, and it’s not to gain followers. I honestly started writing because it helps me process how I’m feeling; it allows me to appreciate my growth. It also reminds me how small I am in this big world, and keeps my ego in check.
But I publish it because I know how good it is to not feel alone. And sometimes you read things and it strikes some commonality within you, and it makes you feel “heard,” and “valued,” and “safe.”
Those are nice words. I hope you feel them. If not with me, then with another’s writings. Or music. Or movies. Or whatever your outlet is.
Anyway, how does one end something she didn’t intend on writing in the first place, but that has ended up being pretty dope?
Find Your MAVERICK. Seriously, find it, it’s MAGIC.